If you haven't seen the What To Expect When You're Expecting movie, you might not be familiar with the concept of a Magical Pregnancy Unicorn. I'm sure you can guess, but basically, it's someone who gets all of the desirable pregnancy effects without the miserable and less-than-glamorous symptoms. Like every woman (I'm sure), I hoped & hoped this would be the case for me. I've wanted this my entire life, & I really wanted to be able to enjoy being pregnant. And I have to say, I've been (& still am) really lucky in that aspect. I mean, I've still had a few food aversions, random bouts of nausea, some killer sciatica pain (which, side note, a chiropractor, supportive footwear, and steady schedule of low-impact exercise - like swimming/water walking - will do wonders for this!!) & various other discomforts, but compared to some of the other pregnancies I've seen, mine really has not been bad at all.
Having said that, I feel obligated to say this as well: shit has gotten real over the last month or so. And by real, I mean really uncomfortable. At this point, my breathing sounds as though I just finished running some kind of race all the time; I'm fairly certain my feet could qualify as kayaks (canoes seemed a bit extreme); if I try to walk or otherwise move quickly, I feel like the entire front portion of my body might suddenly fall off; I snore now (that's new); I am always thirsty, always hot, and always have to pee; the only part(s) of my body that haven't gotten bigger with this pregnancy so far are my boobs (seriously how is that fair???); and this morning, my chocolate muffin actually gave me the worst heartburn I've experienced so far.
It hasn't only been the physical symptoms, however. It is really hard to explain how you can feel so unbelievably grateful, happy, & excited, & so frighteningly overwhelmed, alone, and unprepared all at the same time (or at least within a few moments of each other). A friend of mine shared this Facebook post that, I would say, pretty much explains what pregnancy has been like in my experience. If you don't want to read this woman's entire post (though I would highly recommend it!), here is a summary of the parts I found the most true: "Pregnancy has made me feel the cutest/prettiest that I ever have in my life. But no one tells you, that at the same time, it will make you feel the most self conscious and vulnerable... For an already self/body conscious woman like myself, it's a tug of war on my mind... Pregnancy is also the loneliest. Yes, you have a supportive husband/partner, but they don't get to know what you're going through, or feel the crazy kicks and flips, it's all you. There is always something to want to be able to tell or explain, but no one else will get it because it is happening inside you..."
As much as I love my pregnant body, it is really weird/uncomfortable/disconcerting to know that everyone is staring at your body, pretty much all the time. Some days I love the attention & I love having random people ask me questions about the baby & the pregnancy. Other days, it makes me horribly uncomfortable, & I want to hide in a corner (I think it's a combination of hormones & a lifetime of body image issues colliding together).
Now, there is one question that I get anywhere from 2 - 4 times every day that, for me, makes all of this that much more difficult to deal with: How are you feeling?
I despise this question.
Everyone & their dog wants to know How are you feeling? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? When in truth, they really don't. I know this because for a while, I got tired of answering with the standard "I'm feeling good, everything is going really well" answer (because I can only repeat myself so many times before my response loses all sincerity, &, let's be honest, some days I genuinely am not feeling good. Sometimes, I'm just having a bad day - physically, emotionally, whatever), & started telling people the truth. And you know what I discovered? Just like most other situations, people don't actually want to hear the truth. It's like asking a customer or a stranger how their day is going & having them launch into this elaborate story about all the terrible things that have happened to them recently, & you're standing there, awkwardly, like "Dude...overshare..."
Maybe they really do want an honest answer to how the pregnant woman is feeling, but only so they can "correct" you. For example, when I would answer with something like "I'm really tired, actually; I've been having a hard time sleeping," they would inevitably give me a "Oh, you poor stupid little girl, you think you're tired now" look, or they would just pipe right up with a condescending chuckle & super helpful quip like "Oh, just wait! If you think you aren't sleeping now..." The same goes for the mention of any other symptoms. Like if I mention that I'm getting more uncomfortable, I would get responses along the lines of "Oh, just wait; you don't know what uncomfortable is yet!" & other super helpful comments of that nature.
Because I have had such a relatively easy pregnancy, I feel like I'm not allowed to have bad days, or to really complain at all. I should just be grateful all the time that I don't have it worse.
So yeah, turns out I am not, in fact, a pregnancy unicorn. But, even when I'm uncomfortably wedged into the loveseat, popping Tums like breath mints to squelch the fire climbing up my esophagus, my painfully-swollen feet propped on a pillow, endlessly shifting & leaning to & fro in hopes of dislodging Baby Boy's foot from under my ribs, before ultimately getting up to pee for the third time in an hour, I would turn around & do another nine months in a heartbeat. Being pregnant is still, by far, the weirdest & best thing that has ever happened to me.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Sunday, March 5, 2017
February fiasco
February pretty much slid right by in no time flat, so on to March! Which also means on to the beginning of our EIGHTH month!
Even though it was fast, February was certainly an eventful month. I managed to finish all three (that's right - three) of our registries! If you read my last post, you'll have an idea how much of a relief that was for me. Little Man has been moving around like crazy lately - I can actually see my belly roll from side to side, and it feels like someone is doing somersaults inside my body. Weirdest. Feeling. Ever. OH! His father finally got to feel him move for the first time when we hit 30 weeks! I was so happy!! :)
The biggest event, however, was probably our 5-hour foray into the local ER. On the one-year anniversary of the day we made the heartbreaking decision to let our first baby go (our cat, Selene), I was at work, going about my day as normally as was possible. Around 3:30 that afternoon, I started getting a headache, & out of nowhere began losing peripheral vision on my right side. It was like there was a jagged line down the middle of my vision, & everything on the right side was kind of a blur of neon colors (that's a poor description, but it's the closest I can get).
My boss had me sit in the back room & sip some water. I called my OB's office to tell them what was going on & ask if I should come to them, or go to the hospital, & she said a nurse would call me right back (it ended up being over 30 min before someone did). Within about 10-15 minutes of sitting down, I had little to no motor function in my right hand, & was having trouble forming complete sentences or finishing my thoughts, so I told my boss I needed to go to the ER.
We called my husband on the way, but my boss had to tell him what was going on because I would get a few words into a sentence & be unable to finish it. When we got to the ER, two nurses & a doctor sat me on a bed & started asking me a bunch of questions (my name, how far along I was in the pregnancy, where I lived, if I'd had any complications with the pregnancy, etc). I was able to answer most of their questions eventually, even though at times it would take me several moments to either think of the words, & I couldn't remember my OB's name, even when they said it for me. My boss had to step in & explain what had happened because my sentences were coming out like: "Cant...see...right side. Hand and f-f-face...ting-tingling." While gesturing with my left hand & stuttering terribly.
The doctor started saying a lot of things then - none of which I could make any sense of. I heard him say the words CAT Scan & MRI, but I couldn't understand what he was asking me, so I just kept looking frantically at my boss & nodding at the doctor. They pulled the curtain to get me into a hospital gown & hook up a bunch of wires for tests (again, none of which I understood). I was trying to focus on staying calm through everything because the more worked up I got, the harder it was for me to understand what they were saying, or form simple sentences. Husband got there right about then (I was very lucky to have my boss not only drive me to the ER, but stay with me through everything...even though I felt terrible for putting him all of that!) & the doctor told him he was going to send me for an MRI because he was pretty sure I'd had a minor stroke. Luckily I didn't understand what he was saying, or I probably would have panicked at that diagnosis.
As soon as Husband got there, things got so much better. Even in my current state, I could tell he was incredibly freaked out, but he kept holding my hand, talking to me, & being patient when I couldn't form a simple sentence or a full thought. That's the good part about being together so long; he was able to finish most of my thoughts and sentences for me. He even got me smiling & laughing, which seemed to help my speech & understanding tremendously.
After about 20 min in the MRI (where I'm pretty sure I dozed off at one point, despite the loud noises), I stood up & was suddenly completely back to normal. I still stuttered a bit, but I could speak in full sentences, I understood everything that was being said around/to me, I had full motor function of my right hand again, & my vision was completely clear. The doc called a neurologist to look at my MRI, & he said they looked 100% normal with no sign of any damage whatsoever, & assured the doctor if it had been a stroke, there would be at least some damage visible, no matter how minor.
We sat there for another two hours while they gave me an IV & some Tylenol before finally sending us home. The best they could guess was that I'd had a debilitating migraine (the ER doc was still convinced it was a mild stroke, despite what the neurologist said. After he left the room, Husband looked at me & said "How about we let the guy who went to school studying the brain diagnose the brain, k?" Haha!) & said if it happens again, I need to come back.
My boss absolutely forbade me from working the next day (which was probably a good call because I ended up sleeping for over 12 hours), or the day after. We had our regularly scheduled OB appointment the next day, & she said everything sounded fine with our Little Guy - he had a nice strong heartbeat, & he was certainly kicking up a storm the whole time we were in the ER! She did tell me that if something like that happens, I need to call them first, to which I replied "I did call your number first. I explained what was happening & asked if I should come here or go the ER. I was told a nurse would call me right back, & by the time she did, things had gotten so much worse that we were already en route to the ER because I wasn't comfortable waiting any longer." She said "Oh. Well. You should still come here first." --insert agitated sigh here--
Oh well. After talking with some other people & doing some research, it does sound like it was a debilitating migraine, which makes me feel like a huge drama queen for going to the ER, only to be fine a couple hours later. But, like Husband & everyone else has said, it easily COULD have been something else, or something more dangerous, & especially since it isn't just about me & my health right now, we should always take the extra precaution. The poor guy was white-knuckled & stone-faced the whole time we were there, but he stayed incredibly calm & collected, & kept coming up with all kinds of stories & history lessons to try & keep me entertained. :) I can't imagine going through a night like that without him; Baby Boy & I are so unbelievably lucky to have this man in our lives.
After talking it over with my doctor & my husband - considering everything that has happened recently - we all decided it would be in my/Baby Boy's best interest if I gave up Zumba for the rest of the pregnancy. I've been trying my hand at some lower impact cardiovascular exercise, like walking &/or swimming, to make sure I'm still getting a healthy amount of exercise without putting any extra stress on my body.
So yeah, February was most definitely an eventful month in our household, but luckily we've all come out the other side unscathed. We're looking forward to a quieter, less eventful March :)
Even though it was fast, February was certainly an eventful month. I managed to finish all three (that's right - three) of our registries! If you read my last post, you'll have an idea how much of a relief that was for me. Little Man has been moving around like crazy lately - I can actually see my belly roll from side to side, and it feels like someone is doing somersaults inside my body. Weirdest. Feeling. Ever. OH! His father finally got to feel him move for the first time when we hit 30 weeks! I was so happy!! :)
The biggest event, however, was probably our 5-hour foray into the local ER. On the one-year anniversary of the day we made the heartbreaking decision to let our first baby go (our cat, Selene), I was at work, going about my day as normally as was possible. Around 3:30 that afternoon, I started getting a headache, & out of nowhere began losing peripheral vision on my right side. It was like there was a jagged line down the middle of my vision, & everything on the right side was kind of a blur of neon colors (that's a poor description, but it's the closest I can get).
My boss had me sit in the back room & sip some water. I called my OB's office to tell them what was going on & ask if I should come to them, or go to the hospital, & she said a nurse would call me right back (it ended up being over 30 min before someone did). Within about 10-15 minutes of sitting down, I had little to no motor function in my right hand, & was having trouble forming complete sentences or finishing my thoughts, so I told my boss I needed to go to the ER.
We called my husband on the way, but my boss had to tell him what was going on because I would get a few words into a sentence & be unable to finish it. When we got to the ER, two nurses & a doctor sat me on a bed & started asking me a bunch of questions (my name, how far along I was in the pregnancy, where I lived, if I'd had any complications with the pregnancy, etc). I was able to answer most of their questions eventually, even though at times it would take me several moments to either think of the words, & I couldn't remember my OB's name, even when they said it for me. My boss had to step in & explain what had happened because my sentences were coming out like: "Cant...see...right side. Hand and f-f-face...ting-tingling." While gesturing with my left hand & stuttering terribly.
The doctor started saying a lot of things then - none of which I could make any sense of. I heard him say the words CAT Scan & MRI, but I couldn't understand what he was asking me, so I just kept looking frantically at my boss & nodding at the doctor. They pulled the curtain to get me into a hospital gown & hook up a bunch of wires for tests (again, none of which I understood). I was trying to focus on staying calm through everything because the more worked up I got, the harder it was for me to understand what they were saying, or form simple sentences. Husband got there right about then (I was very lucky to have my boss not only drive me to the ER, but stay with me through everything...even though I felt terrible for putting him all of that!) & the doctor told him he was going to send me for an MRI because he was pretty sure I'd had a minor stroke. Luckily I didn't understand what he was saying, or I probably would have panicked at that diagnosis.
As soon as Husband got there, things got so much better. Even in my current state, I could tell he was incredibly freaked out, but he kept holding my hand, talking to me, & being patient when I couldn't form a simple sentence or a full thought. That's the good part about being together so long; he was able to finish most of my thoughts and sentences for me. He even got me smiling & laughing, which seemed to help my speech & understanding tremendously.
After about 20 min in the MRI (where I'm pretty sure I dozed off at one point, despite the loud noises), I stood up & was suddenly completely back to normal. I still stuttered a bit, but I could speak in full sentences, I understood everything that was being said around/to me, I had full motor function of my right hand again, & my vision was completely clear. The doc called a neurologist to look at my MRI, & he said they looked 100% normal with no sign of any damage whatsoever, & assured the doctor if it had been a stroke, there would be at least some damage visible, no matter how minor.
We sat there for another two hours while they gave me an IV & some Tylenol before finally sending us home. The best they could guess was that I'd had a debilitating migraine (the ER doc was still convinced it was a mild stroke, despite what the neurologist said. After he left the room, Husband looked at me & said "How about we let the guy who went to school studying the brain diagnose the brain, k?" Haha!) & said if it happens again, I need to come back.
My boss absolutely forbade me from working the next day (which was probably a good call because I ended up sleeping for over 12 hours), or the day after. We had our regularly scheduled OB appointment the next day, & she said everything sounded fine with our Little Guy - he had a nice strong heartbeat, & he was certainly kicking up a storm the whole time we were in the ER! She did tell me that if something like that happens, I need to call them first, to which I replied "I did call your number first. I explained what was happening & asked if I should come here or go the ER. I was told a nurse would call me right back, & by the time she did, things had gotten so much worse that we were already en route to the ER because I wasn't comfortable waiting any longer." She said "Oh. Well. You should still come here first." --insert agitated sigh here--
Oh well. After talking with some other people & doing some research, it does sound like it was a debilitating migraine, which makes me feel like a huge drama queen for going to the ER, only to be fine a couple hours later. But, like Husband & everyone else has said, it easily COULD have been something else, or something more dangerous, & especially since it isn't just about me & my health right now, we should always take the extra precaution. The poor guy was white-knuckled & stone-faced the whole time we were there, but he stayed incredibly calm & collected, & kept coming up with all kinds of stories & history lessons to try & keep me entertained. :) I can't imagine going through a night like that without him; Baby Boy & I are so unbelievably lucky to have this man in our lives.
After talking it over with my doctor & my husband - considering everything that has happened recently - we all decided it would be in my/Baby Boy's best interest if I gave up Zumba for the rest of the pregnancy. I've been trying my hand at some lower impact cardiovascular exercise, like walking &/or swimming, to make sure I'm still getting a healthy amount of exercise without putting any extra stress on my body.
So yeah, February was most definitely an eventful month in our household, but luckily we've all come out the other side unscathed. We're looking forward to a quieter, less eventful March :)
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